come spit on bridges with me

Ah, the life of a slacker. Prone to sickness and everything in between. My life evolves around my loved ones, my best friend rora, photography, adrenaline rushes and fear. i do not believe in myself, but i have my friends for that. Sure, everythings changing and school sucks, but ill just have to live with it- we'll have to live with it. whether we like it or not, we're in a world full of obstacles and it depends on us whether we choose to traverse them or choose not to. My intense love for music keeps me going, and my friends aren’t all that great but I’ll deal with it. Yakno, your parents love for you is the best kind of love that you will and can ever get, so don’t forget that kids. Don’t take things for granted, because things are never what they seem and they’ll be gone before you know it. They're just covering their facade of nonexsistancy and truth be told, maybe even the most unbearable lies. There comes a point in life where we have to make dire choices, even if it affects the people we love. but sometimes, we have to do things like that. I couldn’t give a flying fuck about my grades anymore, because they don’t matter. i just want to excel in music and art, but it’s blatantly obvious that that’s not enough.

My feelings alter quickly, and there are times when I just go miraculously insane in the membrane. Maybe it’s the certain things we do that intrigues us so much. It’s like you have that one best friend, but you have no idea what keeps you two so close. It could be that there’s something in the middle of the wonderful bond that the both of you have- but you just can’t quite figure out what it is, yet. I miss my best friend so much, you seriously have no idea. I haven’t seen her for as long as I can remember and each passing day would be a hundred times much better if she was here. I wish you were here.

Looks can be deceiving but you’re implacable, just like an inexorable foe. I can never comprehend the fact that you were interested in my anecdotes, and my pointless ramblings. you were the perfect stranger for me. you admit the transcendent truth about yourself, even though it is coeval to human existence. but that’s why you were different. You’re just another turning point in my life, and I have failed miserably to keep you exceedingly close. You never heard my vulgar screams.

you're pulling that silent disappointment face, the one that i cant bear

i am no one special, just another face in the crowd. so i have no idea why you would be interested in my anecdotes. i am not extremely funny, i have a grey sense of humour. i am all sorts of colour, and i want nothing more in life than to conquer my fears and to be content. i have been in and out of love, but only one time. it was nothing special. i just realized that i am prone to sickness. i always get sick before i know it. i often get constant headaches when i least expect it, and these headaches become painful migranes. and i cant even describe to you how the pain feels like.

im definitely not good with first impressions. i have no intentions of impressing anybody though. i can only really be myself with three people, and thats it. these three people play such a vital role in my life, you have no idea. so for those of you there who think you know me; whatever people say i am, that's what i'm not. i have a lot of imagination. that's what keeps me going in life, my imagination and my celestial love for music. you can never comprehend my dreams. i'd like to think that i think outside the box, but i'm not so sure about that.

i'd like to have a picnic on the field in school one day. and then we could trash the pool. one of us could bring a radio. that would be so radical.

i have so many other things i would love to do and its all in my head.

a lot of people bore me, thus leading to the fact that i get bored easily. i want to meet more spontaneous and down to earth people. im loud, but i dont really like loud people. i dont know. in fact, i dont really know who i am anymore.

oh the heartbeats at its peak when youre coming up to speak

i feel like dressing up as a penguin.
and then make my way towards the mall in a penguin suit. hahahah that would be fucking hilarious.
i want to do stupid things. i miss the adrenaline rush so much.
i notice how everyone in school says 'blahblah, give me a hug.' its so fake dude. 
hugs are over-rated now. i never hug anyone anymore. heck i seldom hug people. except for mike though, hes the only person i can hug anytime and not feel all weird about it. its like ive known muiz longer and sometimes, i just want to hug him because it seemed appropriate at that time, but then, it would be too awkward. i dont know. 

everyone is so fake. sometimes i wish i could just bomb the whole school or something. i duno, maybe its cus ive been here for too long. i need to getaway from this place.

its funny how i cant act myself most of the time. it depends with who im with though. i guess im only truly myself when im with nadzirah, rora, matthew and randall. other than those people, im pretty much not me towards everyone else.

whatever, im going to indulge myself in all the dvds that i bought

i miss writing.......

some people just dont get it.

space between their faces started pulling
on their features, their
atmospheres collided and they
fell through the thought trap into
physical without psychological,
knowing the lack of obligation toeach other was
making the space pull harder against
their bodies so that they were still
magnetized on a lazy sunday afternoon

they talk about
issues and books
and
kiss in the rain
negligible centimeters between
their faces
was what made him say
'hey,
lets get away.'
the chemistry they share
could destroy this place,
this human race

neither of them were really clinging
to
anything
at
all